Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
