these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
