Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
