she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
