I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
