it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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