Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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