Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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