Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
