some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
