I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
And then he peed in my hair
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