but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
