it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
