There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
