is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
