Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
