I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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