where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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