I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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