I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
