meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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