I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
