Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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