oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
