why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
operation have a gay friend backfired
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
