It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
