Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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