I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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