yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
