Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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