i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
