maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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