so that wasnt chicken after all
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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