I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When are your genitals available?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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