Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
