when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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