So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
