yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
