I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
