The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
