you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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