So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
50% drunk capacity currently
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
