If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
