College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
