if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
