So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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