Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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