Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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