I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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