do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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