If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
