Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
