He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
