Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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