ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
