We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
