Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
