Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
