last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
